While I was in prayer I had a vision. I saw a woman alone, staggering and wandering through a desert.
While looking from above, the LORD showed me a dry, desolate place as far as the eye could see. I knew and understood that this person was desperately alone.
This person had been led through many circumstances into the desert by sheer determination and woundedness. I understood and knew this person represented of the LORD’s people.
This woman was so wounded, that no one could come close to her. She could trust no one. She was driven into the desert, hoping to find death. She felt so condemned and alone.
There was no hope anymore, due to the mishaps and mistakes she had made. She even felt grief and shame for her own thoughts of failure.
She mourned those who lost trust in her care. She was so careful with the flock of God, even unto death.
She laid down her life at the entrance of the sheep fold to guard, defend and protect the beloved of God.
She was so careful with the sheep, that she failed to see what was coming towards her.
In her exhaustion and burnout, she spread herself so thin that she failed to see her own personal need of protection and rest in the LORD.
During the in-gathering of the sheep to the sheep fold, all of a sudden she became overrun and attacked by many religious hirelings, wolves and false prophets, all at once!
She had not realized that she was depleted of zoe life, “Gods kind of life.” Over the months she failed to understand, realize and discern her own burned out condition. She wasn’t able to see or hear clearly.
During the attack, she escaped with her life; although when she finally stopped running, her thoughts flooded her soul.
The horror of her failure could have cost countless numbers of lives. Her failure was more than she could bear, so she began to run away so that she may hide find a place to die.
She mourned for those who had been with her and for those whom she had cared for. She mourned for her own life and death. She couldn’t live with such failure, so she ran until she could run no further.
She loved the LORD so desperately, but couldn’t understand why these things happened.
In her confusion, she felt how alone it can really get. All of the inadequacies and failures on her previous path, didn’t prepare her for this. She had gone as far as she could go, and wept and mourned bitterly of her soul.
She hated what she had become and didn’t want to live anymore. She said within herself, and to the heavy weight of regret, that she was no longer worthy.
She was weeping inconsolably and begging God to let her die.
She stood as her own counsel and accuser. As she spoke, reminding God that she was no longer of any value, because she failed the LORD.
Then there was silence. It was deafening, and yet she lived. She could not hear the judge of the whole world anymore. She wailed, and finally she rested, in an exhausted heap.
She survived another day of misery and defeat, and chose to go further into the desert of desolation. While in that desolate desert place, she grew thirsty for the clear, pure water of refreshing.
She had become so exhausted, depressed and discouraged. She didn’t know why she yet lived. In all of her confusion, she was in no condition to walk much further.
She looked up and started to see from a distance what looked like water; only to find a mirage. Exhausted and discouraged, she sat down on the sand and wept and finally, she found sleep.
As she wept for what was her struggle, she thought that that was the price in life and felt like she had failed God. In absolute shame, guilt and condemnation, she laid down in the heat of the struggle and begged God to let her die.
In her death prayer, she asked the LORD to forgive her for all her mistakes to others, and especially, to offending the LORD.
She repented of performance, fleshly works, doing things without the LORD’s leading and as she wept for all her sins and faults, she begged God to take her home.
Suddenly the atmosphere changed and she had an epiphany; a place of transfiguration in the desert!
The whole atmosphere changed and there were no sand or heat. It was heavenly and she wondered if she was in Heaven.
Suddenly, all of the prayers and beliefs she doubted, became clear. All of the questions she had asked the LORD, were suddenly answered.
She watched as scenes from her life were played out in front of her.
It was here in transfiguration that she finally understood God’s amazing grace and mercy.
She saw clearly how religion, tradition, dependence on the flesh brought her to a dry, deeply desolate place.
She was amazed at the level of truth and wonderment of soul! She understood why her journey had brought her nothing but sand, desert and death of soul.
She found the truth in the sands of desolations! Suddenly there was fullness of joy!
She lifted up her head, and noticed in the distance, green leafed trees. As her epiphany, her transfiguration changed her, suddenly through the clarity of the sun, she lifted up her head and to her amazement, off in the distances, he saw an oasis with palm trees!
With great joy, she was amazed and walked there in shocked wonderment of who she met!
This precious experience she had in the middle of a desert, brought joy unspeakable and full of glory! As tears of joy ran down her face, all she could do was weep, as she praised the LORD of Hosts!
She wasn’t weeping anymore out of a deep mourning for the death in her body; contrariwise, she was so full of joy, she laughed, she leaped and she twirled about!
Where there had been weeping and mourning, there was now a supernatural divine exchange that had happened.
She experienced such love from He Who holds her in the palm of His hand. The one she loves so dear, her Jesus, she drew near. She drank from the waters that never run dry.
Her desire comes from the deepest pool; she stays lost in the depths of seeing every step. She leans against her Master, and she stays lost in Him.
Pure, clear and dear to her heart, she rested in the place of solace with shade and angels about.
Falling asleep, a little baby in the arms of Abba, she returned to the lover of her soul and with childlike simplicity, in new faith and fullness.
Abba restored and He enlarged her heart, so that she now runs the way of His commands, making her heart even bigger, to show others of this great, amazing, and loving quest.
~ Selah
“Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, so shall thy seed be,” Romans 4:18 KJV.
“Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well; the rain also filleth the pool,” Psalms 84:6 KJV.
“Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in manifold temptations: That the trail of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls,” 1 Peter 1:6-9 KJV.
In HIS Grace and Mercy,
~ Sherry Edwards Mackey
New Beginning Christian Ministries International 