Category: Christian Living

Recovery From a Shattered Heart

Remember, God is the only one who can vindicate, validates and approves.  Remember Joseph!

I was saved when I was 7 years old and baptized.

However, as I grew up, I lived a very bad life as a teen and then once I came fully to God in 1981 as an adult, I began to change.

I was raised pretty much Baptist, but didn’t find the depths I craved in God till 1983, when I got baptized by fire in the Holy Spirit and I was radically changed.

I had got connected with a friend whom I met at the base Chapel, and she would tell me things that happened in her life as a child.

I would just sit and listen in amazement, as she would share with me things God would do in this life NOW!

I didn’t know God could be so real.  Her parents are deliverance ministers in the Church of God; the one based in Cleveland TN.

Anyway, she introduced me to the Holy Spirit/ Ghost baptism, and to make a very long experience short, God literally showed up in my house on the third night when I fasted and prayed for the very first time, and oh my good God, did HE show up!

I had no idea about any of this!  I was so innocent and had no idea why a puffy white cloud showed up in my home and the presence of that weight of His glory, oh my!

Neither did I know what price it would cost.

I experienced the Shekinah and had no idea what it was, it just scared me, but WOW, did God baptize me with fire!

Of course, later, The LORD taught me about the Glory of The LORD when His visible presence would come in the form as a cloud in the Bible.

It wasn’t long after that when I was in prayer and The LORD told me he called me as a minister.  I saw that and told him, “I can’t do that! I’m a woman!

Well, not long after my radical experience, my husband became a very heavy weapon against me and was used by the enemy.  But true to form, God always turns everything towards our good.

All of those years in the refining fire I continued to say, I could never be a minister.

My marriage of 25 years to a pastor was made final in 2006, but the effects of that marriage were very hard and long lasting.

However, what was worst, was in pouring out my life to people in the Church whom I thought were my friends, who loved me, and believed in me.

I shared everything with them.  They knew me and I never imagined such betrayal could happen.

All of the times of bearing my soul were turned against me and in my rejection, bitterness took a hold of my soul.

Bitterness defiled me and I pulled away like a wounded animal.  I was trying to survive and when anyone who got too close, I would lash out!

No one understood.  Yes, they would use the scriptures and yes, the scriptures are right — but I was in no place to receive them, for my wounds were so raw, nothing soothed them.  So I resorted to isolation.

We must learn to ask God for a word fit for use and in the proper season…..

God knew all of this and He had not left me.  He was waiting on me all through the whole scenario.

Like Job’s friends’ had good basic instructions, with good intentions, but had no experience in that kind of suffering regardless of the weight they carried, sometimes people just need to learn to shut up and refrain from speaking or playing God, when they have no idea what you go through.

While we learn to sit in silence with death, trauma and suffering, it can become such a ministry experience.

When we identify with someone by just being there in action, only using words if necessary, can do so much more.

Job’s friends were wrong in attempting to correct him with open wounds.  They did not represent God in the matter.  (Read the Book of Job.)

Yes, satan set me up big time, and I don’t deny that I am not religious, pretending that I am some sort of perfect person.  I am not lying about it, and I believe what the Bible teaches about suffering, especially the sufferings of Jesus Christ and of Paul!

Yes, I had a truck wreck and had physical wounds, very deep emotional wounds, and very deep marital wounds, and very, very deep and critical ministry wounds.

It was during this short period of time where everything hit me all at once and it had caused me to be mortally wounded.  I couldn’t function, my whole life had been hurled into the air and when it landed, caused zillions of slivers of crystal everywhere.

I did my best to hide it and the best I could do was to sweep up the pieces of my shattered heart and put the dust and pieces in a little sack around my neck, because I had no idea what to do with it and it was the only place I could wear it.

Some wear it on a sleeve, I wore mine around my neck.

“And they that heard it said, who then can be saved?  And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.  Then Peter said, Lo, we have left all, and followed thee.  And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God’s sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting,”   Luke 18:26-30 KJV.

In my rejections, the wounds were gaping so deep that my heart was shattered into zillions of what were fine crystal glass fragments and though some had tried to minister to me, there was no one who could minister, because just as that crystal vase breaks and if we try to fix it, we end up getting cut from doing it.

God is the only one who can heal a shattered heart.  Yielding from that depth of shattering experience was so hard and so vast and it is so out of human control to master it.

For my traumas, sufferings, and death, I was so shattered that God had to heal me from the inside out.

So actually, pulling away was a good thing for me, because I had finally found in silence what would be my cure.

Yes, I found my cure, but The LORD was the only one who made it possible, and it took time.

When we look at our humanity, we can become overwhelmed and many times it is impossible to understand.

However, with God all things are possible.  Forgiveness, bitterness, grudges, and the ability it has in keeping us bound to old wounds must be yielded to the Master of our Journey.

I came to a place in my life where I assumed it was mastered, but I found out with shock is was not.

When I faced my own bitterness, unforgiveness’, my own self-hatred and the actions it caused to myself, it was a long rocky road.

I had to learn walking it out; day in and day out.  Sometimes it was a faint whisper, moment by moment in pleading with God…..

I learned that I had a very hard image of me and when me fights me, we cancel each other out.  I believe there are a lot of you out there like that.  You struggle with forgiving you.

I am convinced there are so many walking wounded all around us.

We must learn to minister from the position of death.  We die so He lives.  It is when we finally experience death to all our life experiences, then we are transformed to live in newness of life.

It is then that we transformed like a caterpillar to butterfly.  We are totally changed in a brand-new way!

I will continue learning as I grow.  Learning to pull away quickly, to regress then to progress.

I am daily learning to forgive, release them and let them go but realizing in many instances it is much harder is to forgive me, release me and let me go!

I am also seeing how The LORD is changing my desires and physical things as he is stream lining me as I am getting smaller in all sorts of ways.  Not having things that hold us down is important to The LORD.  I am certain he knows what is doing because I sure don’t!

I have learned to relish my silence and peace.  I am learning so many things I cannot describe that he has and is doing in me.  I desire HIM and I seek no honor or glory.

People online have experienced a little of who I am in God, but I find so much emphasis is on titles, instead of the death those titles bring.  I shy away from those.

I pray God keeps me humble, broken and lowly of heart, for I only desire his heart.  Yes, years ago God said this and that, but now, I decrease. If he wants to title something, that’s His business.

He is very able to do so.  However, I have learned so much in silence and in waiting to let God make room for my gift.

To fully know, we don’t try to figure it out.  We must just know, if He turns on the button, He can do whatever he desires to do with us.

Shy away from people’s admiration and quickly walk away from flattery.  Ruin is on the lips of the flatterer.

We must yield to time and training in silence; be still and know, and to study to be quiet and work with our own hands, these will create great strides in our lives.

However, how many decades do we want to wander and flounder?  As we wander through the wilderness, are we hoping to find another spring or cave experience with God?  Have we despaired of life itself?

Remember, God is the only one who can vindicate, validates and approves.  Remember Joseph!

What hit me in Alaska when I pastored my 2nd Church with my husband?  I was involved in a truck wreck, in separation and divorce, and in my mental state, as I fell so deeply into depression, I couldn’t pull myself out of it.

Prior to that happening, I was prideful that I was in control in my life, and you see, I had to maintain the image of a ‘together person’ in Church, when I couldn’t, and the ones I thought would never forsake me, did.

These were the very ones who broke bread together and were supposed to help those who have been wounded, or given up on.  But suddenly within a 3-month stint, I found myself hospitalized with a total breakdown.

I could not stop crying.  I cried so long I didn’t know how to shut it off.  You see, when my X walked away from God, it wasn’t just a separation in a relationship, it was also from the people of that ministry, to whom I was so close.

I felt this morning that “the vein” was going to burst, and it has to burst.  I won’t say much, because you my dear, may have been treated badly, even seriously!

God is the judge and HE will hold them accountable for every word and curse they spoke about your life.  However, you must know that when one part is bursting at the seams, it affects us all.

There will come a day, maybe today, when God will vindicate you publicly, and by that time you will have already been healed and well-seasoned from it all, that you will minister with such grace, mercy and compassion, for the depth of your experience makes you a deep pool, your well within you springing up to life as an artesian well!

God is going to thrust you into a new plane, to reach those who are unreachable, those whom no one wants…

I keep hearing this nursery rhyme, “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe..”  I see greatness coming up from a small place, which will yield great results in the Kingdom and benefits in boundaries, stream lining your life and ministry.

I’m not saying that “old woman” is a bad thing, but a Church of experience, who has realigned the fit of the old, but abounding it to so many new.

Children are a blessing from The LORD and you will see many Spiritual children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and great, great grandchildren!

We leave a heritage to our offspring!  No matter what the limitations of the shoe may seem, God said you will have what you and they need!

Then they too will grow out of, and go out seeking their own shoe for the fit of the Master!  The steps of the good man are ordered of The LORD!

 

In HIS Grace and Mercy,
~ Sherry Edwards Mackey

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Forgive, Release, and Let Go!

Sometimes you get to a place where you have gone as far as you can go on your path.

Sometimes you get to a place where you have gone as far as you can go on your path.

Destiny demands change, and many don’t want change!  Then there are those you once loved deeply, broke bread together and shared deep secrets.

Now these believer’s have gone another way!  Forgive them, release them and let them go.

If you are divided and hurt, there are those who truly love you from both sides and they are praying for you.

When I release you, My desire is for a clean cut.  However, because the flesh wants to hold on, it can become a very painful ripping or tearing that happens within.

Realize from heaven’s perspectives that not all will agree or go with you.  Forgive them, release them and let them go.

Some of you are now understanding why things turned out the way they did.   Be not bound anymore to the past.

“Forgive yourself, release yourself, and let yourself go!” says the LORD!

 

In HIS Grace and Mercy,
~ Sherry Edwards Mackey

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Ministers of Bashing or Compassion

So many are struggling with sin, addictions, strongholds and so many other things that they are ashamed of!

Beloved brothers and sisters, please keep on encouraging the people of God.

So many are struggling with sin, addictions, strongholds and so many other things that they are ashamed of!

It is sad that the Church for the most part, gives no outlet for those who suffer in silence.  It is shameful to judge someone!

Then for some, they suffer in silence being afraid to mention to anyone what is wrong!  Are we supposed to bind up the broken hearted?

People we are to be compassionate and realize that what others suffer could happen to us!  There is nothing like eating humble pie to teach us compassion.

We reap what we sow, and God has a way of teaching us in a manner that we will learn not to judge.

Those who have suffered or who are suffering with sin, addictions, infirmities AND emotional, mental trauma and illness, need our support, encouragement and prayers regardless of what the issue is.

We are to pray and minister in compassion to each and every situation we find ourselves in.

How would Jesus feel about the judgmental, and critical spirit we express?

God gives us the ability and the conviction from our own witness that gives us the ability to give hope to share.  We have no testimony without tests.  We have nothing to offer without our own life lessons!

If we have never been where they are, I would advise you not to touch it, or especially to judge it.

Ministering in humility is the way the LORD approaches those who are storm tossed and ashamed to ask for help.  Are we God?

May we truly repent for being judgmental and critical or else it could come to our home.  To judge someone because you happen to be perfect in that area is wrong! It is PRIDE!

We all have seasons when it is scary because we are afraid to admit our weakness.  If the church isn’t the place for redemption and healing, it is simply a religious house that cares only for themselves and their pseudo perfection and religious spirit.

I will guarantee this, that people who judge those who are in need of help, will suffer the LORD’s rebuke and discipline!  Judge not lest you be judged.

There are so many that are seeking help, but are afraid to open up and trust anyone.  These precious people are alone and ashamed.

How would you like to be treated if you faced shame and guilt over being trapped in sin?

There are so many who have lived trapped in strongholds for many years and have no outlet of hope and love.  How would Jesus approach these people?

Pride is a stench in the nostrils of God, and the LORD knows how to deal with pride.  For pride comes before a fall and a haughty spirit before destruction.

The body needs a safe outlet, a place of encouragement and mending, less we become infected with pride and useless.

Becoming one with the LORD requires that we love his body with all the shame, guilt, sin and provide help to those who are struggling and suffering in silence.

We need each other no matter what it looks like, sounds like or smells like.  Where can these people go if they cannot receive help from the church?

Jesus is LORD and no matter what a believer goes through, we ALL are one in the body of Christ, thus when one hurts or is wounded, it affects all of us.

How dare we pridefully judge a beloved soul who needs our help!  Christ grieves over our staunch religious pride!

We are one in HIM, who is the head of HIS body.  May we never forget where we came from as our past is history.

However, that history has made us who we are; good and bad.  God promises us that He will take everything that has happened in our lives and turn it around for good!

Don’t touch things you have no expertise in, or you may be found fighting God!

You are an ongoing book written; living epistles seen and read of all men. Realize to yourself that pressing forward in Christ can only happen when we accept people where they are at and teach them how to overcome each test and trial.

God has so much more in store for you!  Realize that every spiritual wave that passes us by will strengthens us.

He is at work creating within each of us the growth required to becoming sea worthy people!  If God has shown us mercy, who are we not to show mercy?  LORD forgive us of our pride!

Beloved of God, regardless of the burdens we carry, the shame, guilt and fear; there is hope for your future!  You are not alone!  And remember, you are LOVED unconditionally!

Be a blessing today and encourage those you come in contact with, they may very well be seeking the freedom you carry within your heart.  Repent and be not high minded!

God will surely be watching how we respond to the down trodden, wounded and bound. How would Jesus react, should be the first thing we should say to ourselves, before we ever say one word to that troubled soul.

God is watching this very closely and if this has convicted you, please repent and make it right in Jesus name!

“I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment,”   Ezekiel 31:16 KJV.

“Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.  The woman answered and said, I have no husband.  Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: for thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.  The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.  Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.  Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.  Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews.  But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.  God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.  The woman saith unto him, I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things.  Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am he.  And upon this came his disciples, and marvelled that he talked with the woman: yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why talkest thou with her? T he woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? Then they went out of the city, and came unto him,”   John 4:16-30 KJV.

 

In HIS Grace and Mercy,
~ Sherry Edwards Mackey

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The Greatest Love and Field of Grace

None of us are perfect so why do we expect perfection in others?

I had a dear sister in Christ send me a comment that spoke to me strongly.

I believe I am to pass it on to you specifically for this rhema season.  Thank you, Kelli, for sharing your anointed testimony.  You have spoken loudly beloved!

God has convicted me!  He said, indeed change of attitude and ministry go hand in hand.

Judgment begins with the house of God.  If you are part of God’s house that means it begins with us first.

God is convicting our heart to get our focus back on Him and God’s order of things.  Jesus is all about loving and forgiving and are we a part of Him?

We represent Him to the world.  What pattern of life do you show and live out?

After restoration in our relationship with Jesus, then it is about our own home, and those who are family.

“Yet if any man suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf. 17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begins with us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? 18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? 19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator,”   1 Peter 4:16-18 KJV.

It is easy to minister to those who don’t know us, or those who don’t see us often.  God is showing me that many of us have estranged family members AND, that we need to prepare ourselves to be with them and to see them.

It is time beloved!  For some of us, this will be the last time we see them.  We must become active spiritually, pursing our family to bring restoration!

Kill them with kindness!  Put to death the deeds of our flesh, and die to be kind and loving.  A soft answer turns away wrath.

For some of us, the relationships won’t be healed except through prayer and fasting.  AND Yes, we all have free choice and will, and some just won’t want Jesus.

However, we are talking about demonic influences in us and our family.  Some will not go out but by prayer and fasting!

Unless we deal with the enemy in prayer and fasting, we won’t see breakthrough! It’s a serious thing beloved.  They are part of our bloodline, and who knows, maybe you were raised up for such a time as this!

Don’t give up on yourself and your family!  Mobilize in prayer and warfare against that chump the devil.

We’ve got the goods!  We’ve got the power and we’ve got the edge!  The two-edged sword!

None of us are perfect so why do we expect perfection in others?

It isn’t hopeless beloved, but we have a responsibility before God and we must put effort into the situation.  Some of us have given up, but God told me today to NOT give up beloved!

There are strongholds that need to be broken and it can’t happen except through our prayer and fasting.  Don’t give up on them beloved!  God is giving you hope today; it isn’t over!

I am seriously sensing many of you are having anxiety about coming together with family for the holidays.

Through some serious seeking, God has to deal with us first.  We must repent and through our prayers and fasting we can experience break through!

We must see this first in the Spirit and then it will manifest in the natural!

God gave me a vision for you and your family beloved!  I see break through!  But it will take some serious labor in fasting and prayer to break through the strongholds.

I would suggest that you give yourself, to continued prayer and fasting until your guest arrive or you arrive.  Prepare yourself and watch what the LORD will do!

The spirit of rejection, self-pity, self-loathing, fear, doubt, unbelief, abandonment, the spirit of pride, the spirit of offense, the spirit of unforgiving, division, and bitterness are horrible spirits to abide and live with, and many of your families live with them day in and day out.

The people are miserable!  These usually will pull away from everything and everyone that remind them of past sins and family pains and divisions from years ago.

Usually the strong man is PRIDE and it keeps them locked up with big thick walls with lock and key, so they won’t be hurt again!

All family issues and sins that have gone from one generation to the other are generational curses.

These must be broken and the works destroyed.  Beloved, we have the goods!  We have the power through prayers and fasting!

We must first bind pride in our own lives, and ask for forgiveness if we wounded them.  The facade that is presented, doesn’t want anyone to see into their miserable life.  And yet, they see no option or happiness in their future.

Beloved, unless we are dead to self in these situations, we won’t be of any help in cleansing the land in our family.

Ancient spirits have flooded down since Adam and Eve and unless we do the breaking and maintaining the ground we won’t be able to contain it.

We have a majorly huge opportunity!  We have a tremendous ministry field in our own family and country to conquer!

Sure, we can flee from people, isolate ourselves, but we can’t run from those in our own home and family!

I really am convinced and convicted that this is going to be one of the best Christmas’s on record that we have ever experienced! We must do our part.

We are the chosen ones for our family to spearhead deliverance from the generational curses setting the captives free! God is willing, and He is asking you today; are you willing to be obedient and labor to bring sight for the blind and hope for their future?

God is dealing with many of us especially during this 2018 holiday season, because we will see family that maybe we are estranged from, or we are irritated, unforgiving, and bitter.

We that have the spiritual knowledge in the group hold the key to unlock those hidden in bondage! in our families!

We have the Spiritual responsibility in directing how the flow goes.  Everywhere our feet go has been given to us to possess.

We are to take possession of the atmosphere and every demon will shut up and leave once you realize the power you have!

We have been Spiritually lazy, apathetic, and complacent too long! It is the time to possess and reap the harvest in our own house!

We shall obtain through fasting, prayer, forgiving, loving, releasing them and letting them go!

Whenever we go, or they come to our home, we are to speak words of life, love, kindness, being forgiving.

Even in the days gone by, and the sins done against us or to them are still as fresh as they were in the day the offense came.

We must forgive and reach out an olive branch in this season beloved; Regardless of their response.  We must prepare ourselves like going to battle!

Why?  Because we are!  We must remember to represent how Jesus would treat them.

This fast and prayer can also be used and beneficial to help us win our family to God, and to prepare to offer ourselves to them in love.

Pray and Fast beloved of God! This is TRUTH! And this TRUTH will set you free and will be multiplied many times over!

What you do Spiritually will last throughout all eternity!

 

In HIS Grace and Mercy,
~ Sherry Edwards Mackey

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